La Reconnaisance

I Look To You
After All My Strength Is Gone
In You I Can Be Strong
I Look To You,
And When Melodies Are Gone In You I Hear A Song
I Look To You...

Going back since the first day I step on this ground (SAAP), it never came to my mind that someday I would be the HS Student Activity Coordinator. On my first interview, that was with the HS principal Sr. Myra, she said, "You came just in time. You're heaven sent." Hearing those words from a person whom i have first met made myself confident, and made me think, "I am very much welcome here."And during my interview, with our school director, he asked me if  I can be a Science Coordinator, and I readily said yes.... and the rest is history. Being a newbie as they say is no problem with me because I was able to mingle with the SACs, and the different HS teachers...A good start....

As a SAC, I began my tasks by reviewing the Science Curriculum, go over with the LPs as well as the Science Laboratory Room. It was never hard for me because the other SACs as well as the Science teachers are cooperative with me. I have done my job well and made a name for myself...The SAAPSSC (St. Augustine Academy of Pampanga Science Study Club) was born....A fresh start for me...too many members and good and active set of officers....I was able to train them well and imparted in them what I know about organizing a club...Then the Science Month started it all....With the interpretative dance competition as well as the song writing competition has made the Science month celebration memorable. With the different actitivities of the club and the department, i made my self to be with my officers as often as i can to discuss every details of the club's projects. It was never easy, but I am lucky for having good and responsible officers....

Being with these officers have made me closer to them...they have come to know me better...until my club president started calling me "TATAY"....It's not a new word for me, but hearing this form my student made me feel more respected and trusted...It became the word of mouth of my students and now, it's everybody's...I am now their "TATAY" and they became my children...

As I Lay Me Down
Heaven Hear Me Now
I’m Lost Without A Cause
After Giving It My All

Winter Storms Have Come
And Darkened My Sun
After All That I’ve Been Through
Who On Earth Can I Turn To?

But as they say, no matter how good and active we are, time comes when we burn out...In the last few months of 2011, I have seen things differently. I felt I'm at a lost, and finding answers to my questions are never easy...Although i have loved my work, and I feel blessed and happy with my students, there's another part of me who seeks something that I myself finds it unusual...There is emptiness and I felt alone in my undertakings...  the STEP-UP....AUF....the outreach.....Is it worth?

'bout To Lose My Breath
There's No More Fighting Left
Sinking To Rise No More
Searching For That Open Door

And Every Road That I've Taken
Led To My Regret
And I Don't Know If I'm Go'n Make It
Nothing To Do But Lift My Head

I came to realize, no matter how good your intentions are, there will always be hindrances that will come your way. NEGATIVITY...a worst enemy....it stole the happiness in me....my patience.....the faith in me...my energy.....myself......Fighting over myself is the hardest, i will...i won't......I love my students.....I want to move out....I love my career....I want to go.....Where wil I stand?

My Leeves Are Broken
My Walls Are Coming Down On Me
My Rain Is Falling
Defeat Is Calling
I Need You To Set Me Free
Take Me Far Away From The Battle
I Need You
Shine On Me!

Words spread that I'm leaving....Every now and then people come to my office and had a talk with me....A student said, "You told me, i should not give up. Then, why are you giving up?" (sabi mo sa akin wag ako susuko, bakit ngayon sumusuko ka?)...A slap on my face....Another one asked, "To whom will I talk to when I have problems? What will happen to me now? You cheat..(sino na ang lalapitan ko pag may problema ako? Ano na ang gagawin ko ngayon? Ang daya mo)...It hurts...A senior said, "What will happen to what you have started? They will just be put into waste." (ano na mangyayari sa nasimulan mo...mababalewala lang)..I never thought about it....A girl said, "What will happen to the next batch? Who will replace you here? You're the best.. (anong mangyayari sa susunod na batch? sinong papalit sa'yo dito, napakagaling mo)...another one said, "What will happen to the outreach. You told us we will go back there." (ano na mangyayari sa outreach, sabi mo babalik tayo dun)...and these words touched me so much...."Whom are we going to visit here? You're leaving. We have so many good memories here" (sino na dadalawin namin dito, aalis ka na.marami kami magaganda alaala dito)...

Every day of my life, i always think of those words uttered by these students. It's never easy to make a decision, because whatever I choose, it will affect so many people. These young minds who look up to me, not only as their teacher, their friend, and their father as well. The bond that i have made with them has made a mark in their hearts, and they are looking forward of my presence...

‘Til one day I came to realized that I have to hold on to for my beloved students and my friends as well. I found the light to life, and my faith kept me alive. I picked myself back, and was able to find another hope in my heart. My heart keeps telling me, that this is my home...And finally I have decided to stay. How I thank God for giving me a glimpse of myself, and made me realize where I must really be.

God will make a way 
Where there seems to be no way 
He works in ways we cannot see 
He will make a way for me 
He will be my guide 
Hold me closely to His side 
With love and strength 
For each new day 
He will make a way 
He will make a way 

By a roadway in the wilderness 
He'll lead me 
And rivers in the desert will I see 
Heaven and earth will fade 
But His Word will still remain 
He will do something new today.